I took yesterday "off." You may have noticed my lack of posting in my Faith and Adoption series. It will be back next week. I went to church with my boys yesterday morning, we went out to lunch and then, "Mommy's Day Off!" I drove back to Pennsylvania to attend a concert (Newsboys) with my best friend. We hung out, dished about our husbands and lives and relived old memories in a restaurant that we used to frequent during college.

Mommy's Day Off! also consisted of no internet, no e-mail and no phone contact with anyone. (Okay, minus the Husband to check in.) I needed a mental break. Last week was a tough one, emotionally and physically... more

A bit peculiar a topic for me, but I will not let that stop me from plunging ahead. If nothing else, it may give a few people a laugh! By "safe" adoption writing, I mean writing so as not to intentionally inflame or attack others. Okay, stop laughing, I know that I do stick my foot in my mouth sometimes and rile people up. However, I do try!

Part of my challenge is that I do have some strong opinions, and it is necessary for me to work at keeping myself out of trouble. I do not always succeed either. Sometimes I like to throw things out too just... more

Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes. -Joyce Armor

A funny quote unless you are one of the many mothers who don't necessarily want a visible public announcement of a pregnancy. In a perfect world, no mother would get stretch marks. In an even more perfect world, no mother who placed her child for adoption would have to deal with a daily physical reminder that invites questions from others. It is true that stretch marks can be caused from any weight gain or loss,... more

My very active mind has been pondering what separates adoptive moms from birth/first moms. Why does one mom feel unable or unworthy to parent and another feel confident and sometimes even entitled to parent? I keep saying that we are much alike - birth and adoptive parents. In many ways we are much the same.

Then, why does one woman feel convinced that she cannot or should not parent a child that she gives birth to and yet another women steps up and is convinced that she can and should parent? Sometimes people tell me that some women just... more

Life presents many challenges and issues to deal with whether adoption is part of your life or not. How you deal with those challenges (or don’t) affects the course of your life. Sounds simple doesn’t it? In a way it is.

Sometimes we may look at others who appear happy, content and satisfied with life and envy them. We may believe that they are the lucky ones, that life is easy for them. In reality, everyone has some problems or issues to face. Certainly some may appear luckier than others at least on the surface. However, I think the choices... more

Last Friday, I mentioned an adoption escape. In case you cannot make it out, the photo accompanying this post is inside a helicopter as we came into Catalina Island to land last weekend. I enjoyed the 15-minute ride across the ocean.

There were a few minutes of fear factor setting in though shortly after our flight began. Our pilot said there was fog, but that he would try to get around it. He said that if he couldn’t, he might need to turn back. (I wanted to reassure him... more

Continuing on with ways to educate yourself about adoption.

6) Seeking the Opinions of Experts -This is a somewhat loaded option. Adoption experts might be considered those who facilitate adoptions, however, their opinions can be partial and biased. Adoption is how they make a living after all. Some adoption experts who are triad members and have either background, personal experience or education in adoption can be extremely useful. Social workers at agencies, lawyers who profit from adoptions may be conditioned to urge that... more

"This pain and feelings will eventually be replaced with a peace of mind and inner strength knowing that her child can experience a life of opportunities because she made the unselfish decision to give her child to an adoptive family."

This statement is a typical piece of adoption marketing designed to convince pregnant women in crisis that adoption will be the solution to all their problems. Many women fall for gushy lines like this, and later realize the fallacy of these kinds of expectations.

Expectations... more

From adopting.org, I found the following about opening a closed adoption:

In her book, "How To Open An Adoption," Author and therapist Patricia Martinez Dorner highlights several reasons why open adoption might benefit all parties. These include honesty, open lines of communication to discuss problems or concerns the child may have, and diminishing fear and mistrust between birth and adoptive parents.

As more research... more

Birth mothers often speak of a defining moment in their lives when they experience a stark and harsh realization. Jenna recently called that time “her moment of realization;” others describe that moment more graphically (This is a family blog. I leave it to your imagination!)

Jenna’s “moment” came I believe she said a year or so after her daughter (aka “the Munchkin”) was born and placed for adoption. My moment came at reunion 32 years after my son was relinquished. That revealing moment can and does come at any time - or never.

What... more