Just for the fun of it, let’s have a little pop adoption quiz! Maybe I will do a series of them. Then again, maybe not! This is a true and false quiz to see how much you know about adoption. Some of these may not be as simple as true or false, but here goes! 1. Adoptees can receive their original birth certificates once they reach age 21 in most states. 2. Women who place children for adoption are often not mother material anyway. 3. Adoptive mothers are not real mothers. 4. Growing up adopted is no... more

What does a tragedy like the massacre at Virginia Tech have to do with adoption? Alot. Several of the core issues that many of the families of those who perished must now deal with are very familiar to adoption triad members.

Family members must grieve their losses and go through all the usual steps of the process. Sadness and anger will envelop many of the families for some time. The experience for those who were there on campus, but survived, will haunt them forever. Life will seem unbearable for some for a time, and they will wonder if they... more

The question has arisen here in bloggerland at adoptionblogs.com on several occasions as to the wisdom of adopting as a charitable act. As a birth mother, I have thus far resisted the temptation to comment on this query. However, ignoring issues is not in my nature, so I decided to comment in a post on this particular issue. The subject of adopting with a “do-gooder” mentality is one that I have heard adoptees discuss. When a discussion ensues on this topic, voices rise and faces often redden.... more

I encourage you ... say who you are out-loud when you have the opportunity. Say it out-loud to a group of others who know and understand the enormous emotion of your words.

The quote above comes from a great article called I Said it Out Loud that discusses a birth mother's coming out at her first support group meeting. Actually saying the words, "I am a birth mother," affects different women in varying degrees. However, the first time a woman says... more

There is a store on Main Street of our city that has large window display in the front. In fact, it has a separate, squared window that you can walk all the way around in the entrance of the store. In this squared window section waits about twenty baby dolls, each in their own "hospital bassinet."

D, Munchkin, JD, Nicholas and I walked past the display today on our way to get smoothies. I've lived here just long enough to not notice it all that much. D, of course, was caught a bit off guard. I did mention that it's my least... more

You might think that social workers, especially those who work in adoptions, would understand adoption. However, from what I can tell, most social workers do not seem all that educated either about adoption. On the other hand, adoption is their business, and it is how they make a living. Is it reasonable to expect that they will try to convince a woman that adoption might harm her or cause lifelong issues for her? Adoption attorneys are unlikely to be anything less than positive about the affects of adoption either. Again, they profit... more

Dictionary.com defines compassion as:

A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

How does compassion apply to adoption? I bet if we thought about it, there are many ways. For starters, do you think part of the motivation to adopt children from orphanages from is due to the compassionate nature of some adoptive parents? Obviously, the best reason to adopt a child is because you want to parent, but adopting a child... more

Although some of our adoption challenges are unique, there are many life skills and qualities that we can help guide us and deal with our adoption struggles. Here are a few: 1. Forgiveness – to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and to forgive others who may harm us whether intentionally or inadvertently.

2. Strength - to carry on when things get tough, to face hard truths when it is required that we do so.

3. A brave spirit – to endure and shine and step up to the plate when you need to do so, and rely on your... more

What would happen if we told the truth to pregnant women considering adoption for a child? If we explained to them about the lifelong consequences that they would endure, what would happen? What if we let them know that it is much tougher than most of us can ever imagine? What if we also included information about the possible harmful effects to a child?

What if we told her them adoptive parents are not “perfect” parents, and subject to all the same difficult life issues as anyone else? What if we gave them the opportunity to speak to some adult adoptees... more

Watch hot fudge sauce on cold ice cream the next time you are being naughty and indulging yourself. There sits the vulnerable, cold hard scoop of ice cream innocently resting firmly in the bowl.

When you pour the hot fudge sauce on the ice cream, in most instances, it does not just warm the ice cream, but melts it. Honest, I know, I just tried it a few nights ago. (Totally a necessary experiment, mind you.) When someone is feeling cold and prickly from their adoption woes, pouring on the heat may melt them just like hot fudge sauce... more