I've been quiet for the past few days. I get introspective and withdrawn around the Munchkin's birthday which is, of course, fast approaching. I'll talk more about my emotional issues over the next few days. Today I need to talk about Munchkin's birth father, L, and how he is or is not dealing with her birthday.

Today D let me know that J had caleld L to let him know that we're having a small get together at Chuck E. Cheese (!!) for Munchkin's birthday. It does happen to be during the week and... more

Serious and controversial are the rights of birth fathers. And with that comes the fifth recommendation in the Birthparent Study.

Recommendation 5: Require more aggressive protection of birthfathers’ rights by mandating their identification by birthmothers whenever possible, and by personally notifying all possible fathers of adoption proceedings. In states where putative father registries exist, they should be widely... more

I harbored a lot of anger towards Munchkin's firstfather, L, for a very long time. I didn't understand how he could leave us high and dry and force me to make the hardest decision of my life while completely alone. Thankfully, therapy helped me work through some of those issues.

At that point, I was able to step back from my grief, guilt and sorrow and take a look at his own. He's not a man of visible emotions. I've known that for the almost ten years we have known each other. He is outwardly strong and powerful. He is intelligent... more

On the flip side, what about men who want to pressure a woman to parent their child, even when she wishes to choose adoption? Pressuring a woman either way is not a smart thing to do.

If a woman really does not want to parent, and you talk her into parenting, what are the chances that she will become a good mother? It is possible that she could have a change of heart after the baby is both, but, again, she is the party most impacted by her pregnancy. I believe that means that she gets to decide what happens to the baby in most circumstances.... more

Birth dads are much maligned, sometimes deservedly so, sometimes not. I suspect that there would be less pregnancies classified as “crisis pregnancies” if men in general were more accepting and supportive of unplanned pregnancies.

However, this is not a blanket indictment of all men. Like birth moms, I believe that some birth dads are unfairly characterized as unfeeling and uncaring. Birth dads come in all shapes and sizes just like birth moms. I do not know enough birth dads personally to be able to take much of a position on what an “average”... more