Whenever I write about birth fathers, I become keenly aware how little is written about them. Although birth mothers are in the spotlight a great deal these days, some might say too much, birth fathers are just beginning to speak up. They too feel a need to change some of the public perceptions about them.

Birthfathers, too, pay a price for staying in the shadows. ...the birthfathers interviewed for her book "were incredibly sad to have lost their children." They were also plagued by remorse.

One of the reasons... more

Ah, my eyes always spark when I see a story coming from my hometown, Memphis, Tennessee! You might remember the last story from Memphis was about the Ho family a Chinese couple who had just gotten back their daughter from a couple who were trying to adopt her. This story involves a father whose girlfriend chose adoption for their child without his consent. When he appealed to the legal... more

Jan recently did a series on birth fathers. I'm not doing a series today but, rather, I'm posing a question based off of my personal experience and the things that I see written on blogs and in the forums.

Why are we so adverse to involving expectant fathers in the adoption process?

I'll tell our personal story first which will include my opinions as to why that happened. L, Munchkin's birth father, and I weren't on the best of terms by the time I came... more

Society in general, and adoptive parents as well, are less dismissive of birth parents now than they were in the past. Many adoptive parent bloggers speak kindly of their children's birth parents and realize that it is healthy for their children to have relationships with birth family whenever possible. Some adoptive parents make great efforts to include birth families in the life of their child. To see those efforts always pleases me.

It has taken years for people to understand the value of a birth mother in a child's life. We are not... more

My son's birth dad is a kind, compassionate and loving man. He did not handle my pregnancy as I wish that he had, but he was supportive and not cruel or unkind. I was angry at him for not handling our "situation" better, but he did the best he could - he was 22 years old when our son was conceived. I made my peace with him after reunion and that has been a good healing experience for me.

Birth dads often are maligned in adoption just as birth moms are, but they do not all deserve the bad press that they get either. Other than my son's... more

Remember your first love? Of course you do. Who can forget the first person to melt your heart and make you really fall for them? I crossed paths with my first love in the the 6th or 7th grade. Yeah, I know that’s young maybe, but….I confess to having liked boys alot early on. However, my first love and I have been dancing in and out of each other’s lives ever since we met. Do you have a hard time remembering the face of your first love? Not me, but then I can look at pictures of our son and instantly my vision of him is refreshed.... more

Expectant fathers have rights, too. However, they're often overlooked and sometimes trampled upon, even more so than expectant mothers' rights. That's what the Capital University Wells Conference wants to look at this year.

"No Parent Left Behind: Adoption and Fathers' Rights" will be held Thursday, February 17, 2007 at Capital University in Columbus, Ohio.

Four very interesting panels are planned for the day covering various topics in adoption and how they... more

Today's experiences brought a bunch of new facets to my adoption journey. Some of it has already been healing. Some of it has brought about a whole new area of healing that needs to be explored. I knew that this was a big step for both L and the Munchkin but I didn't realize how today's meeting would effect me on so many levels.

On a positive healing note, a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Earlier in the year, my beloved therapist encouraged and helped me to remove myself from the middle of interactions... more

It's been a long time coming. For three years, L (the Munchkin's birth father) has been working towards meeting her. I've given him support, encouragement and a smidgen of guilt. (I'll admit that.) In the past year, he has been actively working towards a visit by working through some of his own issues, talking with J & D on the phone and via e-mail and asking me questions about adoption in general.

And today, 1094 days into her life, L made the drive to J & D's house, birthday present in hand and visited his biological daughter for the first time. While my... more

I've been quiet for the past few days. I get introspective and withdrawn around the Munchkin's birthday which is, of course, fast approaching. I'll talk more about my emotional issues over the next few days. Today I need to talk about Munchkin's birth father, L, and how he is or is not dealing with her birthday.

Today D let me know that J had caleld L to let him know that we're having a small get together at Chuck E. Cheese (!!) for Munchkin's birthday. It does happen to be during the week and... more