As much as I try to dispel myths about all birth fathers being bad guys, I rarely discuss birth dads who were not such great guys. Unplanned pregnancy can present quite a challenge to birth fathers, and sometimes they do not handle the situation too well. Some birth fathers are just dysfunctional bad guys, and never get any better. Others mature and become decent, loving and caring men.

At reunion, many birth mothers still harbor lots of ill feelings for the birth fathers of their children. Sometimes those feelings may be justified. Many... more

Putative Father Registries are a topic that seems to be popping up everywhere in the news. Sometimes the issues of these registries arises and lawsuits are centered around whether a father signed up timely or not.

In a case in Florida it appears that at the time a father's paternity case was being held in one court, another court was terminating... more

Coley just wrote a post about Refuge House which is located in Marion, Illinois. This house helps young mothers learn how to parent well. This article stated that women had come to stay at this facility from as far away as Mexico and Florida. I suppose that may be an indication of how atypical this type of facility may be, and how few other such facilities exist.

Refuge House allows young mothers with one child to stay for up to two years. During that time, the mothers... more

I wrote about Cody's story last month. Briefly, he was told the mother of his child had a miscarriage but in reality she placed the child for adoption without his consent even though the agency knew of Cody's wishes. (For more information, read the blog or visit Cody's website.)

I'm revisiting the topic for a few reasons. Cody's daughter just turned one this past week. One. That's a big milestone... more

In honor of Father's Day, I have written a lot about fathers this week. I have included all fathers of adoption.

The photo above is me with my dad when I was about five years old. At that age, I was nearly always barefoot and climbing trees. The photo quality is not so great as many older photos were not as clear and crisp as today's high tech cameras.

However, if you look closely, I think you can tell that my dad is looking at me with obvious love and pride. As the youngest of my family of five, I was clearly the favored one,... more

Losing a son to adoption creates a deep numbing pain.

Rambling Birth Dad

If you have read my posts for long, you know that I do believe that many birth fathers have felt their loss deeply. Many birth fathers have intense regrets about losing their children and rejoice in their reunions. This post called "I am a Person" describes in a very simple, yet moving way how losing a son to adoption has affected one birth father's life.

There is... more

Although he never knew that he was, my father was a birth grandfather. Like my mother, my father loved children, and he likely would never have understood why I relinquished one of his grandsons to adoption. Money was never abundant in his family as he was growing up, yet, I doubt that anyone one ever considered adoption for any of the children. Family was all-important.

My husband who is married to a birthmother, namely me was raised in a large Irish Catholic family. Although I had the great privilege to meet my husband's father, his mother was not still... more

Dear Andy is a poignant story of a birth father and his love for his son. He talks about a family book that he lovingly put together for his son when his son was very small. Then, when his son was nine years old (or half way to age eighteen as he describes it), he shares a letter that he wrote to his son. The love he feels for his son is obvious.

If you peek around the Internet carefully enough, you will find birth fathers speaking up now. Part... more

In honor of fathers in adoption, I intend to blog almost exclusively this week about fathers. As important as mothers are to their children, fathers can play a key role as well. There are many fathers who have connections to adoption.

Not only are there birth and adoptive fathers, but many male adoptees become fathers, and often their adoptive status comes into play when their first child or subsequent children are born. Adoptee fathers like my friend Wraith tend to think about... more

For all the talk we do about how there is no information on birth fathers or their plight, perhaps we aren't looking in the right places. Gary Clapton has released five studies in the past ten years on the birth father experience. The most recent of which just hit the wires today. I downloaded it with interest and I can't keep my eyes off of it.

This study, entitled The... more