Adoptees and birth moms vary as to how much adoption affects their lives. For each of us the effects can differ greatly from time to time as well. There may be periods of time that we feel that adoption is not a core issue for us. At other times, adoption issues may seem to envelop us and define our lives entirely.

There is no magic formula. I wish that one existed, but, since we are all so different, it is unrealistic to expect that one does exists. A loss affects each of us differently. Prolonged grieving may be in order for one person, yet not another. It is a personal decision... more

Here is Part 1. The taboo against single motherhood is much less prevalent than it was in past decades. Although there are still many people who firmly insist that a child must have both a mom and a dad. Women do still relinquish at times today because they want their child to have two parents. However, since there are so many single mothers today, many people now realize that children can be parented successfully with one parent.

In the past, women were cautioned that it would “ruin their lives”... more

What kind of home study did my friend's parents go through before adopting her brother? I have no idea. In the era her brother was relinquished, closed adoptions were the norm. Her parents were not hand-selected by a pregnant woman. Since her brother is in his mid-forties, I imagine the standards for adopting may have been different. Her parents were wealthy, and I am sorry to say, I imagine that made a difference.

The system failed him though - and he is a reminder that there are no guarantees that any family - adoptive or birth will be a good, stable and loving family.... more

"Lucy, you got some splaining to do."

Ricky Ricardo.

Unless you are a baby boomer near my age, you may not know much, if anything, about the "I Love Lucy" television show. Maybe you might though, reruns possibly? It was first broadcast during the early fifties, and much has changed since that time. When the show was originally aired, the word "pregnant" was considered not appropriate for television.

Studio heads were initially concerned that the duo of Lucy and Ricky might be considered unbelievable due to their "mixed marriage". Ricky was Cuban, while Lucy... more

In reading about reunion, I found several references to the fact that often the two parties in reunion may regress. The theory is that they regress back to the age that they were separated. Most often this means the birth mother would regress to her late teens or early twenties, and the adoptee would revert back to infancy. As time goes on in reunion, they hopefully grow and eventually catch up to their real ages.

One source that I read about reunion mentioned that there are four people present at a reunion between a mother and her child. The participants include... more