This summer I made the decision to post on our family blog about the fact that I am a birth mother. After months of therapy and many discussions with Josh, it was the right thing to do and it finally felt like the right time. That didn't mean that it was easy! Pressing the "post" button felt took an eternity.

The response was generally positive. A few people said some things that grated a nerve or two but they meant well. Those who knew my struggles to find a place for adoption in my everyday life lifted me up, reminding me why I made the decision to post in the first place. Secrecy made me feel dirty and shameful. However, I knew my true test would come as certain people from my... more

Each week in the new year, I plan to offer one question each week and invite others to offer their thoughts on the subject. All triad members are invited to respond! I will post my response to the question at the end of the week.

This week's question is: What do you believe is the worst part of being a birth parent?

Some ideas include:

1) The obvious - not having your child to love and raise. 2) In an open adoption, watching someone parent your child and hearing them call someone else "mom." 3) Missing all the... more

My Mother and I met for a leisurely dinner at a half-way point between our homes. Both without husbands (both working) or children (brother at party, son at MIL's), we figured we'd indulge in our last chance to eat massive amounts of fattening food before the new year and new diets begin. As usual, our discussion turned to adoption.

I'm left unsure of what to think or feel.

For the first time, ever, my Mother and I openly talked about the time before and during Munchkin's placement. It wasn't a good time for our family.

While my Mother and I possess similar personality traits, we communicate in vastly different ways. She yells. When I hear yelling, I emotionally shut... more

Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them!

Margaret Mitchell

While there are statistics to be found that indicate children do better in two-parent families, there are also statistics that indicate that adoptees have more issues to deal with than those who are not adopted. All children with two parent families do not thrive, nor do all children who grow up adopted. There is no "all" when it comes to much of anything. Not all children who grow up with... more

A few blogs back, I talked about the anti-adoption faction and tried to offer some explanations as to their reasoning. I said that I also wanted to bring up the other side of the coin - adoption advocates as well.

Without hesitation, I would say that the average person on the street has very high praise for the whole institution of adoption. Although I occasionally hear adoptive parents say that some people question their motives, in general, I do not believe that to be the case. The majority of people think adoption is a noble and wholly positive... more

Writers write about what obsesses them. You draw those cards. I lost my mother when I was 14. My daughter died at the age of six, I lost my faith as a Catholic.When I am writing, the darkness is always there. I go where the pain is. Anne Rice

Last summer during a weekend at the beach, my husband and I made a trip to a large local super bookstore to find something to read. He scouted the store out and found the section for books about writing. Kind soul that he is, he knew that the budding writer in our... more

I'm in the middle of a visit with the Munchkin and family. We actually just drove home (their home; not Ohio) from North Carolina. Why were we there? I'll talk about that tomorrow.

This is the big birthday visit. This time of year is so thick with memories that I can't turn around without running into one or another. It's hard. It's overwhelming. Sometimes it's nice.

In the car this evening, before the sunset and all heck broke loose, J and I were talking about the day that the Munchkin was born. It's nice that other people weren't under the influence of pain and/or pain medication and can therefore remember, with clarity, the line of events on that day. I have bits and pieces... more

I learn so much from every side of the triad. I have the utmost respect for adoptive parents. I have learned how to talk to D or bring up subjects that she might not know how to broach with me because of my interactions with these parents either on the forums or various blogging formats. I have learned what is most important for me to do in order to show respect for their role as the Munchkin's parents. I have learned what might be potentially offensive and know how to respect boundaries set forth in our adoption.

And oh wow, the things I've learned from adoptees. I have pages and pages in my journal of things to keep in mind for when the Munchkin gets older and approaches me (or doesn't!)... more

More birth parents seem to be anti-adoption than adoptees, and I do not know why that should surprise anyone. For birth parents, particularly, in closed adoptions, there are generally few positive aspects of the experience. Throw in being deceived, tricked or receiving dishonest information, and it is not surprising that some birth parents think adoption, should be outlawed.

Regardless of how hard adoption facilitators, agencies or adoption attorneys try to “play up” adoption and paint it as a “win-win” choice, few birth parents that I know see... more

I know nothing about the UK. However, this showed up in my inbox and I just thought it was good information (and positive!) to share with my readers.

LAUNCH OF BIRTH PARENT SUPPORT SERVICE (FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 24) A NEW support project, to help birth parents deal with the adoption of their children, is being launched by the St Francis' Children's Society on Friday, December 1, 2006 at the Judges' Lodgings, Aylesbury.

The Birth Family Support Service offers innovative provision. It has been commissioned by Buckinghamshire County Council, and will offer emotional... more