What if we stopped being untruthful to adoptive parents? What if we explained to them more fully some of the challenges that their children might face? What if we also equipped them with an abundance of tools and resources to help them parent their children?

What if we made foster care adoptions easier and quicker for adoptive parents? What if we offered parents adopting internationally opportunities to have some openness in their adoption and possibly some contact? What if we explained ways to help their children adjust to their new homes, and yet retain... more

What would happen if we told the truth to pregnant women considering adoption for a child? If we explained to them about the lifelong consequences that they would endure, what would happen? What if we let them know that it is much tougher than most of us can ever imagine? What if we also included information about the possible harmful effects to a child?

What if we told her them adoptive parents are not “perfect” parents, and subject to all the same difficult life issues as anyone else? What if we gave them the opportunity to speak to some adult adoptees... more

Sometimes people share good ideas about open adoption (or adoption, in general). They write about these ideas and the ideas, themselves, are good. However, there are gems in the blogosphere where people write well about the topic of adoption. This is one of those and, as a warning, grab a tissue.

MamaGigi of Musings: Mamahood&More wrote a most beautiful post entitled Adoption's Doors. She starts out explaining... more

It's interesting to look at how other countries are dealing with the same things that we talk about on a daily basis here on the blogs. An article this morning concerning abandonment laws and Japan has me pondering the status of abortion, adoption and personal beliefs within the country.

The article, on SperoNews, states that Japan is following in the footsteps of a recent decision in India to help "promote adoption over abortion"... more

Some women are encouraged to disconnect with their child even pre-birth. Some social workers encourage mothers to think of carrying the baby for someone else, oh, so wrong. Part of that whole scenario is the adoptive-mom-to be being there for doctor's visits and even the birth sometimes. "Claiming the baby" is not part of the plan.

A young mother is sometimes declared a non-mother even pre-birth and encouraged to think of herself only as a "vessel" or a baby-maker. I wonder how mothers who have been trained to divorce all their feelings... more

Jenna spoke recently of dreams and mentioned that many birth moms dream of the children they placed for adoption. Five years before my son found me, cracks appeared in my denial armor. Nightmares plagued me and yet, I made no connection to the loss of my son.

Many nights I woke up sobbing and my husband wondered what was troubling me to wake up so distraught. The nightmare was always the same. To probe its meaning would have meant dropping the denial mode. I was not quite ready. To attach meanings to dreams or nightmares is not something I... more

The first key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning..for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth. Peter Abeland

From a good little girl who always did as I was told, smiled alot and believed everyone and everything, I have evolved into an entirely a much different persona. Although I still smile alot, I am not nearly as apt to believe all that I hear or see. Even as a child,... more

During today's Sunday School lesson, our Pastor was discussing how the book of Psalms offers great reference to today's world. At the time we were discussing grief in the context of how our church family lost a long standing member to a heart-attack just last night. However, grief has many forms. As a birth parent, I am familiar with grief. It taints most every aspect of my life.

There are some days when I feel very sad, dark. I've been struggling lately, as I mentioned in my need for smiles this past Love Thursday.... more

Although I do not want to discourage people from adopting children already in the foster care system or orphanages, neither do I wish to encourage a woman not to parent if she is willing and capable of doing so. Sometimes all that a woman needs to decide to parent is a small bit of encouragement, an acknowledgment that she can and should parent. We need balance in how we show adoption to the world. It is neither all bad, nor all good. To pretty it up to encourage people to adopt may not be such a swell avenue to increases more adoptions.... more

This link extolls all the virtues of maternity homes. Yet, three young women in Utah were so desperate to escape from the home that they were in that they resorted to whacking the director over the head and fleeing. The mother of one of the young women was quoting as saying:

Castro said she knew her 16-year-old daughter didn't like being at New Hope. Far away from her friends and boyfriend, the girl didn't like not being able call or e-mail... more