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Sometimes people confuse facts and opinions in adoption. There are certain absolute truths in adoption. However, there are also many differing opinions about various issues. Knowing the difference between the two is important when discussing adoption.

Separating fact from opinion can often be complicated, and not that easy to do. For instance, whether adoption is a positive or negative experience is a matter of opinion. Adoption serves some people well. Others, it may adversely affect their lives forever and contain no... more

In my previous article about this case, I neglected to include a great post from Deb. Her post can fill in more of the details of this story. It revolves around a young teen mother who received counseling and adoption advice from her high school guidance counselor. There are a few very significant points about this case that I did not address in my previous post that... more

I encourage you ... say who you are out-loud when you have the opportunity. Say it out-loud to a group of others who know and understand the enormous emotion of your words.

The quote above comes from a great article called I Said it Out Loud that discusses a birth mother's coming out at her first support group meeting. Actually saying the words, "I am a birth mother," affects different women in varying degrees. However, the first time a woman says... more

On Oprah's website, she is asking for stories of people currently grieving the loss of an infant. She is seeking grieving parents who want to appear on her show and does mention it be a RECENT loss.

Little does she know about the millions of birth mothers who grieve the loss of their babies for a lifetime. I would love to see her flooded with grieving birth parents, many whose babies are in the 30's or 40's now. Somehow, I know that is not what... more

If you could make only one change in the world of adoption, what would it be? I offer some options for you, and then I will tell you my one wish.

1) Open records – all adoptees at age 18 or 21 in any state could receive their birth records, with no strings attached. 2) Adoption changed from a profitable business venture to a social service whose sole motivation was to find homes for children. 3) Closed adoptions become a relic of the past and be acknowledged for what they really were – a failed experiment that cost many people... more

Discussions on the importance of using the right words in adoption are plentiful. Many of us believe that it is important sometimes to use the proper words because words can be powerful weapons or useful allies. The term "crisis pregnancy" has a somewhat ominous tone. Crisis Pregnancy Centers are abundant in the US mainly due to pro-life forces that believe that it necessary to prevent abortions.

Does using the term "crisis pregnancy" fit for all women who experience unplanned pregnancies? Crisis in my mind has a somewhat negative connotation, and I wonder... more

While researching for my just-posted book review, I came across the website for Overseas Adopted Koreans (OAKs) and was so moved by the description of who they are in their own words.

In turn, the foundation looks to members of the adopted community to actively strengthen the voice of adoptees and create a better understanding of the challenges facing them. Interested parties are encouraged to share their suggestions and form a sense of community amongst worldwide adoptees. The OKF welcomes all OAKs to return and experience the ever-changing... more

One reason that I love comments is because it inspires me to discuss other topics. There have been some discussions lately about how to discuss birth parents with adopted children. John pointed out that it is tough to say something positive when the birth parents had abused or neglected the children. As he pointed out, just like “Jack the Ripper,” it is hard to think of much positive about people who hurt children. It seems even more heinous as well if the children that they hurt are their own. Marlou Russell,... more

What message do you want the world to know about adoption? Adoption is hard, easy, challenging, rewarding or what would your t-shirt say? How about, “Adoptive parents are REAL parents?” Be creative. I have already heard, “Adoption is Love” and it does not work for me. I know that for many adoptive parents, it is sweet and positive. However, most birth parents I know would rather face a firing squad than wear a shirt that said, “Adoption is love.” It isn’t so much that we do not agree that it can be, but it is unoriginal... more

Angst is such a great word, don't you think? It sounds so much more interesting than “anger.” The dictionary defines angst as: sorrow, worry or torment. I think most birth mothers would acknowledge that since losing a child to adoption, they have lived angst-filled lives to a degree. Anger is definitely part of the package as well. It is hard to escape the palpable anger that so often surfaces for birth moms. Even when we write the anger is often evident. No one wants us to be angry or angst ridden, least of all, us. However, it seems to be inescapable... more