Have you ever given much thought to what the biggest problems are in adoption? Your response will most likely be highly affected by your role in the triad (or the adoptive plane as my friend Wraith likes to describe the connections). The life experiences that you have had will also reflect how you view what problems are most pressing. Apparently, there is a great deal of disagreement as to what are the worst problems. For instance, Lawrence... more

One of the first things that I personally see could quickly bring about change would be to do away with monetary gains in the placement of a child.

The quote above is one that I found in a post of Deb Donatti's. Many of us are aware that part of the ills of adoption are partially due to the fact that adoption is a highly lucrative business. Some people believe that the non-profit agencies are less likely to be money driven, however, I am not certain this is necessarily the case.

Although I would love to... more

Coley recently wrote One Birthmother's Advice which listed the top six facts she wishes that she had known prior to making the decision to place her second son for adoption. Heather Lowe's wonderful booklet What You Should Know if you are Considering Adoption for Your Baby echoes Coley's thoughts. If you have any doubts that Coley's six facts are provided to young pregnant women, even in the year 2007, I invite you to visit... more

A few weeks ago, I had a lengthy conversation on the phone with a birth mom friend on the other side of the country in Florida. One item under discussion was how adoptive parents sometimes become defensive and upset when others criticize adoption. I mentioned that I sometimes get accused of preventing more adoptions due to my public criticisms.

"You're not making this stuff up!" she said, and she is right. If I were falsely targetting adoption practices and intentionally distorting the truth and/or lying, it would be justified to be outraged... more

Blogger Deb and I are both outspoken mothers with strong opinions. There is alot that we agree on - at least I think so - but we do clash on some issues. One issue that I believe that we do agree on is that adoption needs to be based more fully on the truth.

To downplay the challenges of adoption for birth or adoptive parents does no favor to a child. All parents need to be fully educated and informed about the roles that they are considering in adoption. The Internet has made educating yourself about adoption easier.

However,... more

The governor has signed legislation which will allow Maine adoptees to obtain their original birth certificates. I applaud his decision, and congratulate all the triad members who worked so hard to open adoption records in the state. Maine becomes the sixth state to open its records.

Two states never sealed their records (Alaska and Kansas). A few other states have open records laws, but not what some reformers call "clean" legislation. Clean legislation carries no vetoes or adds restrictions. Open records for all adoptees, with no restrictions,... more

As a birth mother particularly interested in ethical issues in adoption, I am still puzzled by many of the stories I read about international adoptions. I am not naive enough to believe that every news article about the corruption, etc. in certain countries is necessarily accurate and impartial.

People have their own agendas, and some journalists figure that sensationalizing the news about international adoptions sells newspapers. For that reason, I do not believe all that I read. However, when I keep hearing similar stories on a consistent basis,... more

Over the past year or so, many of us have written about flaws that we see in our present system of adoption. We have thrown around some suggestions about how to change the system. However, I would like to really concentrate more on solutions for the real problems that trouble us.

There are few who delve into adoption in any depth who are unaware that adoption in America is far from perfect. In fact, many of us believe that there is alot wrong with adoption. As triad members, we have the power to change adoption. We cannot change all that we... more

A post of mine made some waves here on the blog last month. It left some readers with unanswered questions, arguments over what is an appropriate step towards reform and confusion over the process itself. Thankfully, I was approached by Roberta MacDonald, reunited adoptee and Chairwoman of the North Carolina Coalition for Adoption Reform (NCCAR), the group in charge of the bill in question. We exchanged some e-mails... more

I wrote about Cody's story last month. Briefly, he was told the mother of his child had a miscarriage but in reality she placed the child for adoption without his consent even though the agency knew of Cody's wishes. (For more information, read the blog or visit Cody's website.)

I'm revisiting the topic for a few reasons. Cody's daughter just turned one this past week. One. That's a big milestone... more