As I continue talking about adoption relationship related goals for 2009, I encourage you to listen to this one. Take it to heart. And start making your plans. For what? For gift giving situations throughout the year. Birthdays. Holidays. And any other time you give gifts within your relationship.

But why plan them?

If you're like me, you likely enjoy gift giving. I love that search for the right gift. The thrill of the chase, if you will, and imagining the face of the person when they open the gift. That look of excitement mixed with surprise.... more

As birth parents, we often treasure any picture of our relinquished children that is sent our way. Whether it is from our child's adoptive parents as they grow or from our adult child as we enter reunion, those pictures are a glimpse into our own eyes. Sometimes we frame them. Sometimes we put them on our fridge. Sometimes we put them away for safe keeping. But we always treasure those photos.

And so I encourage you to make one of your goals for 2009 to send pictures of yourself to your child.

When I started sending pictures in... more

It's here. 2009. Have you started writing on your clean slate of a new year yet? This week I plan on giving you some ideas to help you start your adoption relationship(s) off on a great foot. And so what is first on my list?

Write letters!

Of course, that's a rather vague goal. So I want you to define the quantity of letters that you will write to your child (grown or adult) or your child's family in 2009. A very attainable goal is one letter per month. That means you would write twelve letters in 2009. Not too difficult, I promise but, at the same... more

With 2009 waiting just a few ticks around the clock away from us, I wonder what your goals are for 2009. And not weight loss goals. (I mean, I have one, too, but that's not what I'm aiming for this evening.) I'm talking about goals as a birth parent.

Whether you are in an open adoption, a closed adoption or reunion, there's a big chance that you can make some positive changes in your relationship(s) this year. Even if you've had a great year, surely there are improvements that you could make. Little ones, big ones, it doesn't matter. An improvement is an improvement.... more

2008 has been a whirlwind year here on the birth parent blog. Both personally and in general, it has been a year of growth. As with all years, there were some setbacks, road blocks and general tripping up of feet and words but, on the whole, it was a good year.

If I could say anything about this year and what writing on the birth parent blog here at AdoptionBlogs has taught me, it would be this: While we're all experiencing a unique set of circumstances, we're still all in this together.

I don't mean just birth parents. I don't mean just adoptive parents.... more

A question was posed over on the forums recently. A member asked, "Do I need counseling?" She asked as she was dealing with some new emotions that had come to the surface since the relinquishment of her child. My answer, after reading her post, was simple.

If you find yourself asking the question as to whether or not you need counseling, the default answer should always be, "Yes."

First and foremost, we should talk about how attending therapy or counseling do not automatically write you off as being unstable or any other negative connotation associated... more

You might have noticed that I have been quiet for a few days. My daughter's birthday was this past weekend. While I was better able to process the emotions of the day than in any other past year, it was still an emotional time in general. I am happy to report that I have finally taken the advice of some other birth parents and now feel inspired to pass them on to you.

Every year, people have encouraged me to buy (because I don't make) a cake for the Munchkin's birthday. I have not ever done so for various reasons. One being that I am a horrible procrastinator.... more

The holidays are a busy time. They're also an emotional time. Whether you are touched by adoption or not, the holidays can be a reminder of both happiness and loss. As such, many birth parents find the holiday season to be a particularly difficult one. Is there any way around it? Or is it just a given?

I think that knowing the holidays can be emotional for just about anyone should be our first clue to the fact that this is a normal and possibly expected response. As such, is there anything (at all!) that we can do to better prepare ourselves for the season... more

If you're a birth parent in an open adoption or reunion, you're probably considering Christmas presents for your placed child right now. (Unless you're done, like me. We can pat ourselves on the back after helping out our fellow brothers and sisters.) Whether the child that you relinquished for adoption is still a child or a full-grown adult, I have a gift idea that will work: the gift of tradition.

That will mean something different for each family. I don't know you or your family's history so I can't tell you specifically what to give when it comes to... more

December is upon us! Not that the commercial world hasn't been shoving it down our throats since Halloween day was almost over but, still, it's now "appropriate" to be discussing gift ideas. (Though, to be fair, I'm done shopping for almost everyone.)

I've written in the past how I have an ornament on my tree for the daughter that I placed for adoption. I purchased it in the months after she was born. I was at a store that carries ornaments and they had all of the previous year's ornaments that contained the date marked at 75% off. I looked and found a... more